he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
