he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
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