brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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