you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Randomize
