is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
