Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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