Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
