so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
You're earring is so big in my mouth
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Randomize
