I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
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