Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
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