I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
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idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
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