She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Randomize
