So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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