matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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