So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Of course I have a pirate flag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize