Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
We got so high we made milksteak
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
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