You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
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