On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
