It's Friday. Sex?
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
We don't watch enough power rangers
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
