Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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