i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
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