I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize