people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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