Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
