I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
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