GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Randomize