Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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