i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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