In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
