I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
