You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
