I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
