We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
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