look no pants
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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