morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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