i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
