my mouth tastes like poor choices
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
