Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
