the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
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It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
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