32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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