But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
Randomize
