I am in a vortex of obligation.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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