so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
Randomize
