he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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