sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
