Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
