The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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