She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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