Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize