But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
