He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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