What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Randomize
