"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Randomize