Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
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