Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
It all started with a game of naked twister.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
