It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
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