If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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