You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
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