I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
We were destined to go to rehab together
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Drunk is a universal language darling
Randomize
