Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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