Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
