Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize