dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
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