its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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