She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
