i would punch a child for taco bell
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
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