he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize